Take a minute to grab something effective, a little rebellious, and actually useful.
Cortisol
CORTISOL — The Stress Hormone That’s Wrecking Your Rhythm
If your quiz result pointed to Cortisol, your body is stuck in “survival mode.”
You’re likely snapping at people, waking up at 3AM, or crashing mid-day even after a full night’s sleep.
This is your nervous system waving a red flag.
What it means:
Your cortisol levels are spiking or crashing at the wrong times — and it’s dragging your energy, mood, and cycle down with it.
You might feel:
Burned out but can’t slow down
Wired but tired
Ragey, anxious, or emotionally brittle
Craving sugar, coffee, or control
Next steps:
→ Download the WTF Is My Birth Control Hiding? guide to understand how the pill may be covering up these stress symptoms.
→ Grab the Cramps + Chaos Relief Guide if your cycle is painful or unpredictable.
→ Book a hormone consult to get support on stabilizing cortisol and rebuilding your energy
Estrogen
ESTROGEN — The Diva Hormone That’s Out of Tune
If your quiz points to Estrogen imbalance, things may feel too much, too fast, or not enough to function.
Estrogen wants to flow — not spike or flatline. When it’s off, you feel off in every direction.
What it means:
You may be experiencing either estrogen dominance (too high) or deficiency (too low or unopposed). Both wreck your mood, weight, and period.
You might feel:
Super bloated or puffy before your period
Heavy, clotty, or painful bleeding
Emotionally fragile (weepy, irritable, resentful)
Like your body is reacting more than regulating
Next steps:
→ Download the WTF Is My Birth Control Hiding? guide to understand how the pill may be covering up these stress symptoms.
→ Grab the Cramps + Chaos Relief Guide if your cycle is painful or unpredictable.
→ Book a hormone consult to get support on stabilizing cortisol and rebuilding your energy
Blood Sugar
BLOOD SUGAR — The Silent Saboteur of Your Energy + Cravings
If your result leaned toward Blood Sugar, your body is riding a daily rollercoaster.
You’re crashing, craving, and maybe gaining weight despite trying to eat healthy.
What it means:
Your insulin levels may be spiking and dropping in response to stress, poor sleep, skipped meals, or hormonal shifts — even if you’re on the pill.
You might feel:
Shaky, dizzy, or irritable between meals
Like you NEED sugar or caffeine to function
Bloated or foggy by afternoon
Like your metabolism is fighting you
Next steps:
→ Download the WTF Is My Birth Control Hiding? guide to understand how the pill may be covering up these stress symptoms.
→ Grab the Cramps + Chaos Relief Guide if your cycle is painful or unpredictable.
→ Book a hormone consult to get support on stabilizing cortisol and rebuilding your energy
Progesterone
PROGESTERONE — The Peacekeeper That’s Gone Missing
If your dominant hormone result is Progesterone, it means your calming, grounding hormone may be too low — and your body knows it.
What it means:
Low progesterone often shows up as anxious thoughts, PMS spirals, and sleep issues. It’s common after stress, coming off the pill, or in perimenopause.
You might feel:
Like you’re constantly overstimulated or anxious
Waking in the night with racing thoughts
Crying for “no reason”
Heavy emotional spirals in your luteal phase (before your period)
Next steps:
→ Download the WTF Is My Birth Control Hiding? guide to understand how the pill may be covering up these stress symptoms.
→ Grab the Cramps + Chaos Relief Guide if your cycle is painful or unpredictable.
→ Book a hormone consult to get support on stabilizing cortisol and rebuilding your energy